For the first time in the twenty years that we have lived in our home, we have a mole problem. I mean the small furry mammal, not the skin kind. There are little soft mound of dirt throughout the yard and in some of the flower beds. I have researched on Pinterest how to deal with the problem, I just haven’t taken any steps yet.
Now, I’m not an avid gardener, nor do I dote on my flowers. I always have good intentions, but very little follow-through. If I remember, I might water the plants. Fertilizer? I bought some once, but I don’t think we ever used it. I only pull weeds once or twice during the entire summer. For the most part, the plants are on their own.
Today just happened to be one of those rare weed-pulling days.
I worked on one area, pulling at dandelions, clover, and renegade grass, snapping them off at the ground level. Even with the help of a trowel, I seldom managed to get the roots. Oh well. At least it looks a bit better right now.
I stepped over weed piles and crossed to the other side of the house to work on another flower bed. I noticed a couple of mole hills there. No big deal, I thought, as I settled down to attack the weeds that had invaded the space. Again, I pulled on dead foliage, snapped off my dandelion roots, and yanked at the wild grapevine that had wrapped itself into a hosta. All the while I had this funny feeling someone was watching me. I avoided getting close to the mole holes. Is there something or someone in there? I stared at a small hole in the dirt. They don’t attack humans, do they? I mean, if there was a mole in there and he felt threatened, what would he do to defend himself? All I could think of was there is no way I could get my fat ass off of the ground quick enough to escape a savage mole attack. I could imagine the ER personnel laughing behind my back. I clenched the trowel tightly in my hand, just in case. In case of what? a two-pound ground rodent decided to go for my jugular?
In light of the distressing proximity of the mole hills, I gave up weeding and went inside and did what any sane person would do in the same situation. I had a bowl of Fruit Loops and blogged about it.